September 10, 2012 - One of the hardest days of my life. (Thanks for the lovely card Josh!) It's been such an interesting journey so far. I've learned so much about myself and what I want in life, what I want to be, the person I'd like to become. In many ways this experience has been a self discovery journey, as cheesy as that sounds.
I've made friends here, seen, done, and experienced things I still can't believe, and most importantly, I've seen my self growth in this past year alone. My Peace Corps experience has taught me to be fearless. To take risks and fail. It's been defined by constant struggle and frustrations but also many achievements and successes. It has tested my relationships and is proof that love transcends oceans. It is proof that fear is only as big as I let it be. It sparks my natural and endless curiosity to meet people and learn from them, to see beautiful places and understand the beauty of culture and diversity.
This really is the hardest job I'll ever love. It hasn't been easy. There are weeks that make me question things, lonely days that make me miss "home" so much it makes me sick to my stomach, and hours that just seem endless. But then there are those defining moments, those "Aha!" moments, that leave me smiling. Like the weeks where every little thing goes wrong and I can't catch a break...only to end with so many other things falling into place. Or the days where I feel like I am not getting anything done or not accomplishing anything and then a student comes in to the Guidance & Counseling office to thank me for talking with her and consoling her, proof that the best thing about this job is building new relationships. Sometimes those silly thoughts of feeling like everyone is living their life and has forgotten about me out here leads to countless hours of lying awake in bed, doubting my service. But then I wake to a sweet message on my phone from Trenton, telling me he is thinking about me and could never be more proud of me. Those are the moments I focus on. Those are the moments I will hold onto and I will never forget how such simple acts can make me feel so happy.
With everything that I've been through this year, I know that life isn't easy. It'll never be easy and that's exactly the way I want it. (Even if I complain now and then) I know that I could never do this without such great friends and family supporting me and encouraging me. Even if it isn't always vocalized, I feel the love from random What'sApp messages asking how I'm doing or the random boxes I pick up from the post office that is filled with all things bacon and a cool Bartman sweatshirt. (Thanks hooch! I love you!) haha Thank you to everyone out there who has my back, who cares about me, and can't wait for me to come home. As much as I love the life I've established here, I cannot wait to see you all either!
I'm not celebrating the anniversary of being in Botswana/Africa (Sept. 13, 2013) or being an official volunteer (Nov. 15, 2013). Today, Sept. 10, 2013, I celebrate the day I left America to embark on my own journey. The day I chose to be selfish, only in hopes to become selfless at the end of it all. I celebrate today because I took a risk to get on that airplane and to say "See ya later" to the people I love most, only to experience a journey that is filled with struggle and achievement, growth, and love. And I am proud of that.
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